Amour...<3

love love love....wat is love??? it can b vry powerful at times....good it may bring happiness...bt when it's 1 sided...it's totaly suffering....even destructable....but stil...most ppl wil stil hope 4 luv...true love even....bt when wil u find it???? when wil u noe it's true luv??? u may neva even get 1 after all....nw har n yy's al shaky already....har said his feeling is decreasing...bt alas 4 yy it's da other way round....haizzzz...nw get me 2 listen bac 2 dis emo song....tinking too much....mayb so realy....emo emo emo..."it's too late for me to realise i've love u too deeply".....den chatting wit mee hui...she n her gang act suspecting i'm dating wit vemal...hahaha...realy dat obvious act...

MeRdeKa!!!!!!

totaly boring day....onlining again...totaly rottening day....wash clothes clean room...clear da fotos...gona wash others out...stil ntg 2 do...went 2 slp...den watch tv..mr hong kong..movie again....EVENING...it was a realy touching nice story...of a mother at her deathbed....recalling her life...n her 2 daughters life was changed by her....Ann...with da luv of her life...Harris....bt she neva gt 2 marry him...ended wit 2 other marriages....n 2 daughters...mayb sometimes u wil meet ur true luv...bt nt ending up wit him...who know's?? jz as she says...THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS MISTAKE>>>we do continue with everyting...we fall we get up again...we cry we stop crying...wateva it is...it's our life...jz do da best with it...so dat ter mayb no regrets....never fear of having...bcz we mk our choices...jz go on wit it...there wil b a silver lining in every cloud...so as ppl say...so dis is LIFE...

Haizzz....drunk again...

dis was ytd...sort of had a normal joking around wit sasi n vemal again...jz da same as alwaz....den sasi fetch me bac wit vemal oso...den on9 kaho n sasi was kacauing at davin's hs...hahaha...funny..bt den vemal was at his fren's hs...it started wit his fren jason's saying dat i look hot in da display pic...den vemal went down...den started chatting wit jason...telling everyting...vemal mention michelle when he was drunk...mumbling...singing empty again...al emo..haizzz...den he said alot of chinese hot gals after him oso he duwan...gila guy..dick head n all...bt den wat can i say...he duno da michelle is da 1 he's chatting wit...i din mention anyting...haizzz...realy feeling bad...duno y jz nw mum asked...blurted out dat he confessed d....cant do anyting..hopefully he can get over it as soon as possible....4 his own gud...

cry...

feel like crying d...bt i cant...it neva flow out...i'm talking like shit emo....footprints in the sand...touching song....

CaN't eVen Bre@th....

at 1st everyting was fine....even laughing al da way in mcd 2dy....on da way ter...sat in vemal's car...he has been tani-ing dis few days..he asked wat did i mean 4 i like da condition dat day...jz i tink i'm being bad bt it....he's acting al cool realy....dats da oni way...bt he says he gona tk sum time....he stil like me....den after dat...saw sasi's car...he was eventually ter d...bt so long i sat outside at da couch..he din even cross 2 say hi....haizzzz....n f4 clas went 2 court 2dy....every1 was in formal...he realy looked good in formal...totaly professional....impressed everybody i tink...den totaly heart pain suddenly....it's like wana vomit n cant even breath....neva had dis kinda feeling so badly...totaly hurting....haizzz...wat am i 2 do....NOTHING AT ALL....even sundra was asking y am i so quiet 2dy....anyting wrong ant...gaya oso said i was looking so sad nwadays...everybody's noticing...haizzz...i'm so gone...feel like jz running away from everyting....mayb i am realy gona leave dis end yr...who know's??? deep in my heart i dun wan 2 leave....bt wat am i 2 say...

I realy wonder....

Is this possible??? Carmen's post was realy unlike her....totaly scolding al da shit stuff in her blog...shocking act...thankz god nobody wil ever c my blog here...if nt i'll jz find a hole n crawl in....den neva come out....wel...she went 4 movie zohan wit sasi 2dy....kinda wierd feeling ter...dun realy like it....bt jz let it b....ya rit....dats da ultimate....n everybody's reading my shirt 2dy....THERE IS NO REMEDY FOR LOVE BUT TO LOVE MORE.....i wonder if it's true....mayb mayb...who know's?? just let it b let it b....everyting wil turn out well i tink...jz enjoy myself wit every1...hahaha...n kok seng kep telling he saw da malay gal falling in2 da longkang in fron of parade...damn funny...n he din even go help....hahaha...well...ntg much other den dis...sasi din on9 2dy...bt he left his hp tingy n pen in da lib...semangat go movie...4get everyting else...

DaMn MoOdy...

haizz...jz dun hv da mood 2 do anyting larr...ytd was worst...totaly bad mood dat every1 can c dat...vemal look at me wit da wierd kinda look....so called can b normal again....bt he is da 1 escaping....miss al da lan clas...cm 2 clas 2 slp oni...duno wat da hell is up wit him....bt i'm ntg beta...dat day sasi was messing wit wei-qing...i was totaly sick looking at dem...wat 2 do...siti said i was so obvious...bt dats who i am...cant hide anyting i dun like....jz like 2dy...emily's stupid duno wat video ting...most of dem went....even wana use afc's name...stupid shit....den again davin...dumb ass....kena teruk from him....getting somemore bruise d...totaly ganas fella...careful nt 2 play hard wit him anymore...beta 2 avoid mayb....accidentally in luv...mayb dats wat happening nw....jz ignore da feeling...it wil go off 1 day....after so long jz saw abel 4 bt few minutes i tink....wateva it is...he is definitely nt mine 2 tink of...bt den others...haizzzzz...wat am i 2 do....nothing at all....mayb ter's a way out....????????????????????????????????????????????

MeLak@ TriP!!! FuN!!!

unbelievable....we reach melaka sentrel bt 4am...totaly slpy den hv 2 wait 4 soon 2 arrive at bt 6.30am...he realy took his sweet time bathing n al 2 prepare...den we went 2 slp in his hs eventually his room...hahaha...he said his dad act went in2 da room tinking he's inside...den ni realise 2 gals were slping ter...mz b shocking...den went 2 fetch jian dem...breakfast den treat of bab n nyonya food from soon...realy yummy...den bac 2 hotel tropicaville...i tink it's da rit name..den slp til 4smtg went 2 da concert...jam hsiao is da bezzztezzz of all...ter's da stupid fatty gal bside kep pushing n al..other den dat al was fine...n da rain 2...we actually ended up in da summer concert wrap party...saw rainie yang, show luo, wang li xing, awaking, energy n jam up close realy...abit more could hv taken foto wit jam bt alas he was gone by den...da others jz gone waay earlier after saying 8tv being nt respectful 4 nt informing dem abt da foto taking wit da winning fans...damn arrogant...jolin tsai din even go 4 da party....after dat..we went 4 satay celup...da famous capitol satay celup...gt da priority dat we dun ned 2 wait...damn nice al da food...smtg special we gt 2 eat al da seafood big prawns n al...without needing 2 pay...hahahaha...damn syok...da boss even gave us a treat of bailey....hahaha...den me n hyin chat until bt 5 smtg ni we slp....after telling so much 2 her...sasi is da one i tink....we act gt new names 4 dem sasi as in sarsi...vemal as in limau....hahahahaha...eventually m'sia's sarsi limau.....her situation is similar as mine...her's is between johnathan n dan....indian cute smart bt homely dan vs chinese pimpled nice kind johnathan...bt she has more feelings 4 john...without knowing wat he feels 4 her...bt dan definitely like her...even tried 2 kiss her....bt din dare 2 at laz...hahaha..continue wit 2nd day...woke up...took bath n went off 2 melaka central...bac 2 kl...ktm again 2 subang jaya...i tink i saw 2 of vemal's frens along da way....den jz bac 2 ipoh by tai's dad's car...he totaly freak out when he couldn't find da way 2 highway nkve....luckily he found at lazzzz.....so nw bac 2 ipoh....stil tinking...duno hw wil it b 2mr....i realy wonder....

8TV Summer Concert 2008..... raining.......

While waiting 4 da concert 2 start...

Capitol Satay Celup!!! Jengzzzz...

Enjoying da big prawns...yummy...

Our bumpy ride home....

*PeNeLop3*

realy a nice luv story.....sumting 2 do wit da nose oso....penelope was born wit da snout...pity her...bt she's kinda cute...mcavoy was da male actor realy attractive eyes...ricci was kinda like posing my part in real life...my nose is alwaz da prob 4 me....bt pity her's is even worse...mayb sometimes looks is nt everyting...bt it is sumting...den tot of vemal again...told hyin bt it...da confession n al...den off 2 melaka d...

ReJecT!oN =(

haizzz...caught me again...jz sit on da stairs waiting 4 my answer....damn damn shit...totaly tongue tied...duno wat 2 say is da bezz...den send me hm....sit in da car again...waiting 4 my answer...bt 1 hr we took 2 get hm...i mention dat i like da condition nw....like him as a fren....den lastly...u should realy move on...bt i wil remain as ur close fren alwaz.....which ended our conversation....haizzzz....duno wat happen 2 him dis weekend..mayb go bac 2 tani or wateva....wat am i 2 do...we'll c bt it 2mr...

Zohan!!! & Confession....

Nt 2 say totaly shocked bt stil speechless....realy duno wat 2 answer him when he jz blurt everyting out....i sort of noe dat 2dy he wil b confessing bt he was totaly sked in fren's cafe....kep trying 2 say bt dun dare 2 doo so at da same time....in da end he started wit..michelle...i like u...den no i luv u....oh my god...totaly my mouth is wide open bt i duno wat da heck 2 say....dis is da 1st time somebody jz confess 2 me in person....i'm realy bad in replying....no manuscript at al...haizzz wat 2 do...n he wans an answer somemore....hw da hell am i going 2 answer him nw...bt i do enjoy da movie...zohan wit da dick al...den sukvin sud telling me 2mr going movie wit frens..n sasi oso going along...act i duno is oni da 2 of dem or wat....den asking me should she jz ask sasi 2 fetch her hm...haizzz..totaly nuts lar me...cant feel anyting...gud gud...dun tink of anyting bt sasi...jz a fren..nw vemal wat should i tel him...bt he din ask me any ques oso...wat answer he expects from me...???? i oso duno...

Wierd????

da topic of wierdness treating came out of no where 2dy....n from seng soon's mouth somemore...i neva noe he notice dat much....ah peh abel sasi vemal even satvin came out....of cz doreamon was da 1st 1 lar....haizz...realy duno wat he's up 2...since he gt a gf...den gaya oso duno y kep helping him...vemal stil asking 4 movie 2mr...jz go cc hw lar...jz a movie wert....den 2dy 1st time eating 2geter sort of wit kok seng seng soon n abel lar...damn abel kep saying dun wana wear specs so he can eat more without looking at me...den asking him wit pin jun...kep denying stil...gt me wit sasi somemore when sukvin was ter...haizz...duno lar realy...jz let it b lar nw...frens stil...no matter wat....

Result!!! and doggie...

well..totaly tension bt I PASS MY T5!!! hahaha...thank god realy...gt 72..abit jealous of carmen larr 87..vemal 65..pei kuan 52..sukvin 44...siti 34...n jack 30 failed....haizzz....bt most ppl did fine...sasi kok seng vinita joash those oso pas al...bt pity abel n kaho failed all...gavin oso failed 3 papers...so dis is hw acca is...totaly hard...dat stupid mok oso failed 1 paper...lek sei lar...tok so much..den went 2 beacon point 4 lunch wit sasi vemal n kok seng...enjoyed it though i duno half of wat tey tok abt...da doggie was brought hm 2dy..realy damn cute...tinking of a name 4 it...sasi suggested alot of funny ones..tinking of tinkerbell...cute name...c if she wil respond 2 da name lar...vemal asked 4 a movie again...duno hw 2 reject again..mayb going 4 da mummy wit him...c lar hw..shouldn't b any prob lar i tink....hopefully...kok seng hv some gud theories bt luv...hv 2 find sum1 who u can realy b urself with...everyting gud n bad is revealed without faking anyting....hoping i wil find some1 ldt...

Camelot!!!!

Jia ee was king arthur....saw a cute guy named tang duno wat who was da villian....hahaha...watched rogue wit kc n jinyi n his fren b4 dat...vemal pcik me up 2 kopitiam 2 meet his frens...realy like an idiot wit dem al...den stupid started 2 rain damn heavily...til my hair were al wet....damn shit....chatted awhile wit joshua n koo nee....well i dun realy und da drama...jz roughly da sinopsis...stupid vemal was like showing me around as his duno who...al his fren teasing d...den he was like hapy 4 dat...i tink he's realy up 2 smtg...time 2 back off abit den...hahaha...again da same ting happens....well...wat 2 do...alas dis happens again....n shit lar 2mr result wil b out...hehe bt gud ting i bought 3 dresses 2dy...bt rm100 al2geter realy damn cheap...n luv da dress so much...hahaha...gt my outfit 4 melaka d..if i'm realy going....

damn bored.... : (

tot can go yum cha 2dy...nice hair nice make up..everyting is nice...den cc gt ffk d...stupid har lar...haizzz....cant go out d...stay hm eat curry n vege...feel like eating again...though damn full d...i miss da ice cream lar...2dy sasi was al having realy lots of fun wit da AS gang...yes proven realy he's da guy kacauing around jz 4 fun like he said...wat 4 me 2 perasan so much...going crazy again...shut da hell up lar...jz stay single wats da big deal man...well even if he likes me so wat...i cant even go through myself...nw i'm realy getting sked of vemal...i tink he's realy on2 smtg nw...i'm in deep shit again...shouldn't hv ask him 2 go drama wit me...nw looking 4 trouble myself...jz asked sasi did he went 4 any dates b4...surprised me wit 5 times bt cc it's jz dates nt da coupling kinda dates...cc he oso neva gt a gf b4...hahaha...dats abit surprising act...tot he would hv at least 1 or 2....den again da stupid YE dinner ting...damn stupid shit fan...should i stil go ant..i oso duno...stupid cyong neva wana reply me...dun even giv a damn...fine...jz dun bother....mayb jz go 2 melaka ler...probably i'll hv some fun....jz dun tink so much...n start getting a life back...gud job...cant go out so kep taking fotos lar..hahaha....

Wondering again...

jz interviewed da 2 guys...vemal n sasi...i tink seriously vemal is in2 me again....mayb should i say stil in2 me...either it's true or jz me perasan oni...sasi i dun realy tink he has anyting 4 me....he's mayb da gud in nature kinda guy...bt i'm sure ter was smtg when he hold my hands at da beach dat nite...jz da drinking n all i tink...well..should i let vemal tk advantage nw...he's like going 4 more nw...should i put a stop 2 it or wat....i realy dunoo...sasi says guys tend 2 impress gals in2 tinking dat he' a realy nice guy...vemal is doing dat i tink...realy no idea....grey area again....esp da sis n like tingy....totaly confusing...mayb 1 day i wil noe...ppl says when u r in luv u wil jz noe it...no ned 2 tink so much like nw...mayb it's jz nt rit yet....so as sasi says i cant do anyting nw...bt i tink i getting easily sensitiv wit sasi...duno wat da hell i'm doing also...esp when he jokes around wit other gals...totaly jealousy rulesss....esp 4 a typical scorpio like me....so nw jz let it b....

Dave Ming Chang

ponteng out 2 watch meet dave wit pj abel vemal ervina n kok 2dy...siti ganti me lar of cz...damn funny movie..vemal laugh like hell realy...abel n pj like damn wierd...kinda shy shy...kok's gf cheah was working in jusco 2...vemal belanja movie n baskin robbins 2dy...treating me gud lar him...should b going 2 da camelot tingy wit him...he even gt da tickets d...4 sat...hanging around alot of guys i tink...hope tey wont tink out of da box lar...jz dun care ni..hahaha...sukvin dat part was like ntg lar...moral test oso al copy ldt...din study much....ez oso lar sort of..gt tips n al...i tink i realy fall 4 ppl easily..esp when tey treat me gud...mayb i jz long 4 da feeling of special attention from somebody...y so desperate lar...jz enjoy everyting nw...al frens....gud dat i can flirt around more oso...hehehe....dtas al 4 2dy...dave ming chang...hahaha...

Shit Folio

damn it da stupid folio...gt in2 a quarrel with sukvin i tink...considered so...she is totaly a gal which i wil neva und...duno wat da hell she's tinking bt...damn piss me off wit da way she's toking n al...even gaya was crying d...shit..wana go n tel dat she's nt gona rit our name in da lan folio...hate it even when i noe jack is involved wit her prank...even wana test n c wats my reaction...wat da...seriously duno wat da hell she wan...could hv jz delegate work 4 us...mk us like whole group of duno wat da shit...stil wana go tel harnina al...even if she rit our names d harnina wont giv us da marks lar...stupid shit...jz dun care lar nw...watvea 2mr i oso duno...den pj abel kok vemal dem going movie 2mr...tot can 4low d bt alas siti cant ganti me...2 bad stuck in da lib...haizzzzz....mayb beta nt 2 go oso lar...wat da heck i'm tinking nw....shit...

AFC Penang Trip 07,08/08/08

Totaly an enjoyable trip..luv it bt getting confused d...mayb getting sensitiv or wat...bt sometimes i tink pj might dun like me taggin along wit dem...duno izit i'm tinking 2 much or wat...bt i feel she's doing jz da ting i would do in her same situation.....bt stil jz dun care lar...she's da kind oso which hangs out n toks beta wit guys den gals i tink..jz like me lar...den da nite was da classic 1...i tink i may b a bit high lar...totaly crap alot dat nite...wit al da topic n al...which was started bt vemal...wats da 1st ting u c in a gal...hahaha...unforgettable....den totaly shout out al my crushes n al....stupid one-sided luv al...every1 tinks i'm drunk..bt al i did was jz being my true self...showing my true colours...a totaly crazy gal...bt stil i agree wit wat kok seng said...u cant find a soulmate n a lover in a same person....totaly quite impossible in dis world....unless ter's a miracle or wateva...n i asked dem guys realy dun hv da guts 2 tel a gal i luv u rit...den al of dem raise up their hands...totaly funny...seriously reaction from da gal counts alot...guys r act jz da same as da gals....den sasi anoter 1...totaly i duno wat da hell happen...al da holding hands n kep asking me look in2 my eyes n answer me r u ok....haizz shit larr...n al da fotos r exposed oso....esp dusit 2dy totaly kena from him...duno wat da hell is da wierd kinda feeling...n abel even asked him bt it...bt he's nt telling me da answer...mayb he's jz treating as a sis lar...tinking 2 much again...becoming habit d...unstoppable...whole of my mind nw duno wat da heck 2 tink d...

looks like fotoshoped realy..bt i luv dis foto...cz of.....: )

i like abel rit...bt nw he gt feelings 4 pj d...da nite oso tey sat n had private tok n al...he admit gt feelings 4 her d wert...as in long time d oso...deep feelings oso lar mayb...pj sure wont tel me bt it...abel oso i dun tink so...wateva lar crap it dun concern me rit...so y da hell i care so much...craving 4 attention again...am i bcoming anoter 1 which i hate...mayb realy...i dun even noe wat i'm tinking n wat i wan d...do i realy wan a bf so badly...or i jz wan attention from ppl...y do i care so much 4 dat...i realy duno...

long time since i've played wit da swing...alas 2 low d....

gavin wit his drunked look...

dis is da classic 1...which i stil duno wat da hell happened...

da artistic shot...abel damn funny wey....

I will definitely miss dis trip lotzzzz n lotzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!