Unavailable

hmmm...on 10th of June...i was officially not single anymore...he asked...r u willing to commit in2 a relationship??? n i answered...we could give it a try...so dats done...i'm no longer available...should i be hapy or sad??? i tink da answer would be both!!! hmmm...i'm somehow hapy 2 have him n doing private stuff which seems rit after dis official decision...bt den i would lose alot of other opportunities our ter...bt den it's nt like it mz b 4eva rit...so jz let it a chance 4 me n him...n c hw everyting goes...up till nw...al da gals noe bt it...guys i tink would hv known...in coll jz TJ shal sasi n abel noe i tink...i kinda feel like ks n chia kinda guess it too...i tink yep noe smtg too...hahaha...den ayisyah of cz...feeling so comfortable wit him watching movie ytd in his hs...love it esp when he hugs me tight...hehehe...well...kinda stop him going further by holding his hands....hahaha...kinda good tactic...

bt den jz nw...somehow seriously mood out...hmmm mayb i kinda expected too much from him...i admit it...i actualy expected him 2 pay 4 me...bt den nope...n he din offer 2 help tk my stuff...nope...so kinda pissed...bt den come 2 tink of it...he left da $$ in my bag din even ask 4 it...jz ask me 2 use it...dats realy generous actualy...den he's kinda pk rit...after using so much on his dad present...an ipod costing rm599...hmmm...den din realy talk 2 him much oso jz nw...somehow it jz doesn't feel rit jz nw...mayb cz of period or wat...or jz so many guys around ter jz nw...hmmm....when i'm bac from kl...jz c hw it goess...

XOXO

hehehe...dat day duno y sudenly damn moody d...den he was standing so close 2 me...jz leaning on him i felt so safe n secured n warm...da rush i wonder is dat wat i'm looking for al along dis while...hmmm maybe...n den went on another car ride as usual around my garden...den he held my hand somehow...it felt realy good...dun even wan him 2 let go...n den he asked permission 2 kiss me...he was so funny...dat i cant stop laughing...in da end he did it...bt he was nt good at it though...after dat he told me i was like a pro..hahaha...i wonder realy...hehehe...bt den dat time i realy duno wat was i doing actualy...felt so weak n vulnerable when i'm with him...voice went so soft...hahaha...bt den i stil hvn gt a decision...i want his company so badly dat i often tink of him at nite until i cant slp...n i duno y i jz dun dare 2 commit...i was sked realy...sked of wat ppl would tink...sked dat i cant giv him enuf...sked dat i may fall 4 anybody else so easily...bt after da talk wit mum...its realy true...we cant tinking so much as time wont b waiting 4 us...i tink i wil regret if i had nt made dis decision...sked 2 lose him too nw...missing him...so wana tel him my decision...hehehehe...bt sked oso...actualy realy sked...bt wit him everyting wil jz b fine...no more minding other ppl's view...i'm hapy den its enuf...:)