restlessssss & realy moody

wk up nt so early bt washed my clothes...damn tired d...den clas....feel like jz smashing everyting up...damn damn damn it...den sud yi jun sms ask me going parade ant...totaly nobody told me oso...haizzz...den tey went ebox...oso duno yan gt go ant...den kep drawing on vemal's hand...den went lunch wit ryan dem...ish feel like jz hitting uncla chong when he sat wit her...wat da hell am i tinking...y do i mind so much....r u anoter attention seeker??? please dun b one...n i feel realy growing apart wit sasi...nt so much fun...duno wat hapen oso...mayb i'm jz a toy which he had ald get bored wit...haizzzz....sud feel so lost telling hyin everyting....sked of changes...no more confidence...not more...wer did tey go???

ThiNking alotzzzz....

fri hol so jz went movie wit vemal yep joyce stephanie...MAMMA MIA!!!! realy a nice musical....saw pin jun...i din noe dat she gt a habit of watching movies alone oso....well...i would stil prefer watching wit frens...den alone....hahaha....she was like so embarassed when we bumped in2 her....in da end of da movie...da song Thank you for the music...we act sorta sang along 2geter....enjoyable realy...luv da songs...mostly by ABBA....gona search 4 al da songs...den after movie...lunch at Johny's...da food is totaly nt nice lar...den jz walk around...wit vemal tok alot wit him dat day...met ervina n her bf in da supermarket oso...koryen n wai kum oso working ter...den we went yum cha at horoscope cafe...spent damn lot lar....haizzzzz...den sud mum called 2 ask if we can fetch her...vemal was so damn nervous...heart pumping n all....pity him in da end no ned 2 fetch her...den we waited outside parade 4 so long...jz chating n chating...i tink i hv practically told him everyting bt me...ntg secret anymore....he said he may b going 2 uk nex yr 2...i tink i realy hv 2 go 2 kasturi nex yr...no choice...mayb it's gud 2....haizzz...duno larrr...damn lot of changess...i hv 2 let go alot of tings here seriously...dance sing....food home...haizzzzz...den after dat...went hm...round my hs area again....da spot wer we stop 4 my answer....hahaha...damn funny mentioning abt it....den i went realy emo after al da talking...tinking bt everyting...cz i asked him whether i'm 2 sociable n friendly 2 guys kinda ting....haizzz..duno larrr...i'll jz b myself den...dun care wat ppl say....hopefully everyting turns out well....den go hm jz slp....den went out yum cha wit ryan...n da gang....den heard da story bt da 2 lees after yan...jacky n kevin...duno which 1 she'll tk...hahaha....den mk me tinking again....jealousy again i tink....den cant slp...eat again....smsed wit vemal until bt 4 smtg....trying 2 b romantic...da sms goes like dis....i went out and told da moon theres a much greater beauty compared 2 u...it din wan't 2 belive me, then i showed da moon ure face, it got shy and went and hid it self behind da clouds, so u can't c da moon and even da stars 2 nite...or maybe for many nights, romantic ar? hahahaha....kinda sweet lar realy....den 2dy went halo cafe...din notice da meeting was 4 musicians...so jz sit around...jien wei came oso 2dy....den chatted alot wit ah ying....she jz gt her 5th bf 4 abt a week...n dats nt considered alot 4 her....den wats mean....total failure mayb...hahaha....2mr gona go again....arggghh..stil hvn rendam my clothes...gona go later i tink....mz wash d...if nt realy no clothes 2 wear d....den yy told me bt an interesting guy....she kinda like him....bt her fren likes him 2...haizzz...she realy bcm more n more daring....changed alot seriously....

full day work...moody...

just arranging da chairs as usual...den do abit of revision on t6 n t9...ntg much 2 do...den went lunch wit da whole IT gang...den uncle chong gila merajuk....joke har table no place den he sit on anoter table jao ng choi yan d...call oso ng choi...herh...wat kinda atitude is dis...den c me oso ng choi ldt...dumb ass...sukvin's laughter realy mk me like kena electric shock....yerrr...duno hw 2 tahan d....god help me...den uncle chong talking again d....den after work went 2 yum cha at nijam....while i was ter...sasi n carmen went ter oso...after dat uncle chong jz sent me hm...den damn slpy...drowsy...bt cant go slp...so tahan until nw... chatting wit sasi toking bt dreamgal den start imagining me duno doing wat...bt he wont tel me...den toking bt features of my dreamguy...den single life fun n lonely at da same time...eventually he felt da same 2....i tink al singles feels jz da same lar...haizzz....gona pay rm15 4 yi lee's b'day i tink...den tey going lost world on mon....cant go larr..gt clas oso..cant skip...no money oso...den yin jing oso kep asking me 2 go penang trip haizzz...cant lerr...clas again....bt same place oso wert..jz diferent ppl going...

just another day....

well full day clas 2dy...again jz da same...siti skip a few classes again...sukvin n gaya oso skip t7...n t7 gona fin d....heard dat sundra wil b teaching us t10....duno gud or bad ting....haizzz..c hw it goes lar...den da pangkor tingy nw settle 2 go on fri mayb 11am oso can d....bt hvn tel dad abt it...gona sms him i tink...den gt a nice song from phui seong's video...MYMP...IT REMINDS ME OF YOU....nice song dat is....

PJ's B'day 19/9

circle of peace

circle of steps

yeah!!!!

ahpeh so hapy...hahaha..

kekeke...

damn random...vemal looking...

abel n me randomly again...

me n b'day gal PJ

al da galzzzz

vemal PJ michelle

Gerard & Michelle

group foto

me n Pj posing...haha...

yummy chicken

chia Pj mich

Abel & kaho~ gona kiss

We reached early at Kampai...nt bad lar da food...i had da salmon teriyaki set...cost me bt rm20 d....haizzz...den movie somemore...rm9...gona go broke....den da movie Halloween...realy gruesome scenes...pj totaly close her eyes 4 most of da movie...when i was so concentrating on da movie...ah peh sud came n put his hand on my shoulder....totaly freaked out...jumped...i tink i sort of hit vemal's dick oso....cant feel anyting though....hahaha...den he oso cover his head wit his hood half on da movie...damn funny...after dat we went 2 da rooftop 2 tk fotos n al...realy fun lar....enjoyed it alot....den in coll....zee n vinod kep asking 2 pangkor...persuading me 2 4low bt din wana let sukvin noe bt it...haizzz...vinod said gona pay 4 me...duno lar him...den stil tinking act...cz tey gona go on fri...c if we stil gt t9 clas ant....ytd went singing in halo cafe...as usual da bez song is stil teardrops on my guitar...joe said i should try on norah jones's songs...i wil i wil...den paul was ter oso...tried i'm yours n goodbye...realy nice....more confident nw...den after dat went infinity...tey playing snookers again...damn bored lar n i hate da smell....smokers...den went 2 eat at precious time....it was geraldine's b'day...al da seniors were there...den i tink i saw pj wit her parents going 2 eat at da new steamboat restaurant...den 2dy....din do anyting much...jz kep watching movie...den tv again...

hahaha....kaho cant' stand looking at da food d....

I am staring at my salmon teriyaki...vemal's shot...

me n da b'day gal...

pj me fangying n ervina

fanying n ervina n duno who else's made dis cheese cake which taste like harden ice cream cake...

All da gals...chia ervina PJ michelle fang ying...

All da guys...gila dudes...look at kok seng....

Haizzzz...Am I Wrong??

realy cant stand it sometimes....mayb it's pressure created by my own mind....da noise..everybody toking...sukvin's laugh....sasi jokes wit others....ramesh sitting ter....everyting ading 2geter...totaly giving me headache....so jz went hm...gt my money...bt hv 2 return rm200 2 sy ku ku...haizz...no diference oso...den jz slp until i went coll again...den cals den hm again...ntg much...i tink i realy gt prob....tinking everyting...den 2mr pj's b'day gona watch halloween..horror movie...den jz chat wit sasi...ya he asked y i went hm 2dy...jz told cant stand...n no wer 2 go oso...true wert...haizz..duno lar...wat 4 tel him so much..he wont und either....duno larr jz let it b lar...no eye c...try 2 control myself oni lar...

<3

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I aM aLwayS tHere For mE......

PubLic HoliD@y

wake up quite early considering it's public hol...jian is bac...so went jusco wit her n jun...saw jien wei wit his gf walking...twice oso he din saw me...den we went movie...MONEY NO ENOUGH 2....den he was gona watch da same movie oso...met at da toilet again...chatted abit...exam n stuff...n gud lucks....den he sat jz da row behind us....bt da movie was touching act...showing hw a great a mum can b...even though when she is unwanted...by da kids...den money is realy nt enuf anymore....haizzz...cried abit lar...duno y bt stil looking at jien wei sometimes...wonder if he jz peep abit on me in da cinema...haizzz...wat 2 tink so much lar...den waited 4 bt an hour 4 sau ying ku ku 2 fetch me....jz look at da books in mph...even da food section...yummy....den came hm...ntg much....jz went 4 dance clas...den hm again...teach bro abit of maths....haizz...sy ku ku is commenting again on everyting...duno y is she ldt nwadays...simply unsatisfied wit everyting....wat 2 do...realy hv 2 depend on myself..i wil help Eric as far as i can....dats da oni ting i can do...n continue studying...dats all...others...jz let it b....n enjoy myself.....

jz another boring DAY....bt frus oso...

well...jz anoter full day clas...progress test 4 tax realy 2dy...jz blabble everyting i rem...gt alot stil cant rem oso...den gobu called al da librarians somemore...toking bt da noise food even movie oso he knew bt it...haizzz...mayb da ramesh told...damn noisy dats wat he said....den da punch card tingy...damn troublesome....haizzzz....den cashflow oso headache abit....jz kelam kabut everyting...den jz nw on9 damn damn bored...sasi went out lunch..i jz kep typing in da window toking 2 myself oni...he oso nt much response...haizzz..ntg 2 say 2 him d lar...den abel in2 anoter song again..he said he gona sing n ply guitar 4 his lover...hahaha...sure damn funny if he sings dat....Juno's ALL I WANT IS YOU...funny song....n lyrics oso....

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

hahaha...copied all again...simply ntg 2 do...jz 4 memory...in case it fades...den vemal jz dun bliv i neva seen porn b4...duno y jz neva tot of going 2 c...afraid oso mayb...cant tk it...mayb gona shock myself 1 day....hahahah....other den dis ntg much lar 2dy....jz kok seng kep signing in n out oni...n siti din cm 2 coll...

StayiNg Home

nothing 2 do..jz slping n slping dis few days...went halo cafe ytd...practise again...den kenji said i was going backwards...nt improving bt da other way....mayb nt realy in da mood nw...haizz..i oso duno wats da prob...mayb he's rit da fire is melting off...din practise much at hm oso...den ytd was khasturi's hs warming...i tot is nex weekend...haizzz..miss da chance 2 go 4 an indian hs warming d...den vemal smsed...uncle chong called somemore...den jz sms sasi telling him 2 say sory 2 khasturi 4 nt going 2 her hs...sat morn on9 a while...den chatted wit sasi a while 2...den laz nite slp oso...den 2dy jz rit some notes 4 t6...den jz nw oni sukvin ask bt me...i tink if i dun ask oso she wont tel me bt da test..haizz...duno wat i'm tinking d...den yy jz told me she changed her feature frens...jian kee n hyin were gone from ter....den kee rit 'sometimes memories fade awat' while jian rit 'mayb she forget her memories'...haizzz...i realy gt no idea wats happening nw....trouble everywer...i dun tink i'm getting along well wit sukvin...n jian kee dem oso....hw i oso duno...jz let it b or wat....haizzzzzzzzzzz........i can oni sigh....

SicK & diZzy....

having headache...when i c sukvin toking 2 bavanee n satvin..i feel1 kind...den i saw yan i feel 1 kind oso...haizzz..i tink i'm going crazy...when i c vemal asking carmen i oso feel 1 kind...haizzz...teruk lar me...den going dizzy...nw headache again...cant tink d...slpy oso...den skip da whole tax clas...cant stand...slp in da disscussion room during lunch...din eat anyting...jz bought da milo myself...den ask ku ku 2 fetch me hm d...i duno if i look sick ant...bt i dun feel gud at al...i tink i gona slp...den gt sms from hugo n sandy 2mr gona hv singer at halo cafe i tink...should b going lar...

BloOdy bOriNg dAy....again...

riting again...stupid comp...boring day realy...jz hanging out in da lib...n duno wat happen 2 sukvin 2dy...tok oso tak peduli ldt...so dun care lar...duno wats her prob...den pj's b'day paid 4 her present...stupid vemal wana pay 4 it bt den i chuck his money bac 2 him...gila even da milo ice oso wana pay 4 me...eat roti canai oni...so cheap 70 cents oni..nt bad...n i gt my salary 2dy...hahaha..gona bank it...den gt money again...den uncle chong ask can go sing k n pasar malam ant nex tues...asking yan oso..duno c wana go ant lar...den jz nw went snooker wit zee siti n vinod...den saw da cute playboy...damn smelly lar realy da smoke...dun like da place at al..infinity...buka puasa in yeolde eng again...7.18pm 2dy...den vinod belanja...hehehe...hapy hapy...

what if?????

hahaha...dats da ques..what if??? vemal asked wat if he din rush me in2 giving an ans...mayb he should hv ask me out more often den oni ask me....bt i tink da ans wil act b da same....i tink....haizzzz....jz read da bulletin posted by sukvin....true oso wat it says....

The Mysterious Thing Called LOVE ...

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return, do not take advantage, do not cause pain.
How you deal with love is how you deal with you,
and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.
If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time .
Remember that you don't choose love.
Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools,
they revert to seeing their love as need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.
They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love has always been and will always be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

me n siti was again toking bt her again...haizzz..sometimes realy cant stand her...bt jz so b it lar......treasure da frenship i gt...she is a vry nice gal act...jz at times duno wat she tinking oni....den 2dy had da meeting...in da end we refund 2 everybody...gt an invitation 2 khasturi's housewarming oso...cc hw i gona go...hv 2 share da invitation wit vemal...hahaha...den me vemal abel n pj went lunch in jusco station kopitiam...realy had lots of joke n dirty topics....damn funny when abel was so sked 2 b in vemal's car....hahahahaha....gud 2 hv fun ldt....hehehe...enjoying every second i hv....den gt period somemore...haizzz..kena da pants oso...den abit of stomachache lar...beta nw...den jinyi called sud 2 ask wat happen 2 yi lee on 10 of sept laz year....sure i cant rem lar....duno wat is it...mayb later gona ask him...2 tired d 2dy...no strength 2 go 4 dance clas oso...jz slp n getting headache duno from con or nt enuf slp...tired day realy....

PaSar m@LaM

jz went 2 pasar malam wit da IT gang...uncle chong..yip..szehow...nick..ryan...yik yang..al were ter...den uncle chong send me bac hm oso 2dy...den sort of sunway gathering in pm...saw desmond n his gf...ivan oso...den dusit kep smiling n smiling again...duno wat he's tinking dis time...jung yeow oso ter wit his frens...den elaine catherine n their fren chia yee i tink...yuki oso ter wit kim mun...uncle chong kep saying i'm so innocent dat i wil easily get cheated bt ppl...duno y ppl kep telling me dat...mayb true oso...so i've gt 2 b careful...since ppl can grasp my character so easily...get me tinking again....haizzz...wateva ler...i'll jz b me n more careful i tink...

^(*_*)^

SoRry se3ms To be tHe h@rdesT wOrd

damn funny when we fin moral 2dy...vemal was da 1st 1 finishing...den sitting wit kok seng n pin jun....n sasi...den he starts singing....hw can i mk u love me n al....sing n sing n sing...somemore kneel down 2 me....hahaha..laugh until duno hw d....seriously funny....den sasi duno y 2dy kep kacauing oni....able n pj oso eyeing each other bt it i tink...den sukvin n siti skip t6 clas...duno wat 4 oso....gila oni..sit ter n chat...no eye c d...den yan oso din work...duno who da hell go n punch card....haizzz....going crazy realy....den chating wit abel nw...kep on sending songs....kok seng oso gila oldies fan....hahaha.....

SinGing....

i tink quite alot of ppl noe dat i'm singing in halo cafe d nw....bt stil i neva admit anyting....cz i noe i aint dat gud enuf....so jz let it b....stil i noe my bez song is teardrops on my guitar...totaly in2 da song....luv it so so much....my song seriously....den jz been doin ntg at al...jz rem dat 2mr ter's moral test...since i've gt no plans 2mr...den wil b moral day....sau ying ku ku is stil ldt....duno wats up wit her..mayb she jz dun care d...haizzz...feel like i'm jz staying in dis hm 4 shelter n duno wat else...2mr dad gona cm bac...den wana celeb mum's b'day 2mr nite oso....duno wat 2 tel ku ku oso....haizzz...y lar dis family...gona break apart totaly....nobody care if i eaten ant....jz hv 2 tk care of myself nw....cash is da prob...act it's enuf 4 me 2 use every month...jz dat duno y i jz cant seem 2 hv enuf money....should realy cut down on my exp nw....well jz do dat by nt going out...ez wert...since i aint going anywer nwadays....haizzzzz....n jz watch da Dreamgirls...movie by beyonce....keep on dreaming....mayb 1 day it wil b true....1 day....n da song listen by beyonce is realy a nice song...gona dl it 2mr....since 2dy da comp damn tersekat again...sasi was stil on9ing when i sign in...bt den after a while he went off d...duno wat i'm tinking....i dun tink i've eva fallen in luv b4....jz crush or puppy luv mayb...bt nt luv....

ThinkinG @gaiN....

i told yy bt da vemal tingy....den she was like saying i shouldn't sort of like taking advantage of him...haizzz..i oso duno larr...bt i noe toking stuff like dis wit her is neva gona giv positive effect on me....bt i oso duno....he is alwaz paying 4 me...den giving ride hm...wat 2 do....no idea at al...n he noe i may b going kl nex year...somemore he wana do tings 4 me....den jz bac from singing at halo 2nit...sort of enjoy...bt nt realy gud performance....jz da teardrops on my guitar is da bezzz.....alwaz i tink....realy into da song....hopefully everyting wil turn out well enuf....sasi i tink totaly crush ni lar...jz da moment...nw oso nt much...ntg much 2 chat or wat d...since he dun tel much tings oso....i oso gt ntg much 2 tel....haizz...so b it lar den....

ReaLly NiCe ChattinG...

totaly chatted alot wit vemal since he confessed....realy a vry touching one....too bad i jz dun hv da rit feelings 4 him...he told 2dy bt da golf ting...though i kew it from jason ald...bt stil funny seeing him telling me...his worse game ever...n he evn said they gt rules of confession....he broke 1 by choosing da day on 22nd of Aug....2+2=4...which is unlucky...hahahaha....damn funny realy....indeed he was feeling 1 kind when i play n jk around wit guys...bt he realy gud at acting cool n all...hahaha....when sasi kait me wit doreamon n abel...bashing up sasi was jz a call away....kakaka...cant imagine if tey start fighting....bt thank god he control....jz tahan ter...den jz going along chating bt da confession again...realy appreciate his love n all...seriously can feel hw strong his love 2 me is....he's hapy oso...n 1 more ting...i was da 1st girl he went 2 buy thong with....such joke realy....den 2dy his big golf championship...rm1000 cash prize...he said if he sees me he wil play beta....den 4 sure...he won 2dy...n he gt da pewter trophy....hahaha...immediately sms me when he won....realy hapy guy....hapy 4 him 2...hopefully i can gt 2 love somebody as hw he hv loved me.....jealous of hw he can experience love.....such wonderful n powerful feeling...

Choc he gave from German....he said 2 bad none were caramel or white choc....hehehe...